By Gillian Pietrowski
Dealing with death in general can be a difficult thing to handle, but the loss of a loved one can change your perspective on life. There is no guidebook on how to get through the traumatic experiences life hands us, but we can do our best to move forward. What we can do is learn from how others have handled it and take it step by step.
After losing a loved one, you now have to live without them. No longer being able to see them, talk to them or hug them is a huge transition. Another thing you will face is trying to understand why they were taken from you. It can cause resentment and anger about the whole situation, which is common but can become unhealthy. The understanding of why it happened may never truly be answered the way you would like it to be, but becoming understanding and taking a different approach can help.
The anger of not being able to understand will prevent you from healing in a healthy matter. It is okay to feel these harsh feelings; it is only natural that we question why this has happened. If you hold onto it for too long, though, it can affect things in the future. Try looking at the positives. It can be hard to do that in such a situation, but it makes for a happier lifestyle.
If you find yourself getting upset, try remembering the special moments you’ve had if your loved one. Think about how proud they would be if they could only be with you now. Regardless of religion, it helps to feel that they with always be with you or watching over you in a sense. After my mom passed away, I started going through old family photos and watching home videos just to see her smile again. It is bittersweet, but it helps me to still feel connected to her. Other ways to feel better could be writing you feelings in a journal, seeing a therapist to talk things through or even joining a grief group. While being in college during the loss of a loved one you can always seek out a counselor at school.
Being able to apply these methods of dealing with grief to your own traumatic loss can help with your healing process and bring happiness into your life. Trust the process because healing does take time. Be patient with it and continue to bring positivity into your life when things start to get rough. Having a constructive point of view on things when you lose a loved one can have a huge impact in allowing you to move forward, as your loved one would want.