Warning signs before jumping into a relationship with someone
Kahlil Haywood
Being a man, I know that there’s no shortage of people who have been scorned, be it men or women. Women seem to voice their pains with past situations more than men do. Maybe, they’re a bit more discouraged since they’ve been going through so many of the wrong guys. While both sexes have experienced some of the same treatments, I’m inclined to think women experience more of the negative than the positive overall. More times than not, there is a situation that reverts back to the issue of deception. Women are deceived by these men who “wooed” them, and now, they’re left thinking, “How did I fall for that?” Usually the signs are all there, you may just be too proud to address them.
Many of our relationships are recycled, especially during these college years. You may have had a great relationship that maybe grew apart, but you ended amicably and left possibilities for the future. Then you have the relationship where someone really gets hurt, and it’s usually because someone put a world of faith in somebody, and that person let him or her down with his or her actions. The latter scenario can still be salvaged, I’m sure, but I’m also sure that doesn’t happen too often.
My question this week really is: What allows women to fall for that “wrong guy?” Men seem to try to avoid the feelings of deception and pain by simply not committing, and that surely helps, but as I’ve said in past articles, women don’t have the luxury of sharing that same opportunity without fear of being seen in a negative light.
“I always say fool me once, shame on you, and fool me twice, shame on me. After the first few times, and I was shaming myself, and I had to start putting my foot down and confronting my issues with guys head on. I handled my business like a ‘woman,’” said Senior Gracetelle Joseph.
When you are a good woman, the truth always comes to light. Most women will love a man blindly, and love should never be the excuse for why you want to stay with a man or accept any type of bullsh*t that he’s going to offer you.
Freshman Jeanine Jones weighed in on the issue of women staying with men they can immediately tell aren’t good for them. “I think a lot of women always have it in their head[s] that they can change a person and hopefully make them into the man they want them to be,” she began, “but in reality, you can’t make people be who you want them to be; they are who they are, and you guys just weren’t meant for each other.” She went on to say, “Then, you have the females with low self-esteem, who are led to believe that they can’t get anyone else besides the person they’re with, and then you have those girls, who just love drama so they purposely put themselves in a relationship of the sort.”
“From birth, women are taught that they need and should want affection. Because of this, they are very willing to settle,” says sophomore David Johnson. He goes on to say that some women will allow themselves to be disrespected just so that they won’t be alone.
I would have to agree with almost all of the points made, but I think there might be one way you could avoid some of this headache from even happening. Making seemingly long term decisions on what really is a short term burst of emotion isn’t the smartest thing. As a guy, I’ve gotten caught up at times; these things happen. When you have situations in which you feel things are damn near perfect, there definitely is an area of vulnerability on your part. This feeling of vulnerability is telling you to pay closer attention to where things are going and how they are going. This doesn’t mean things won’t work out, but what it does mean is that you need to pay better attention to who you’re dealing with and their tendencies before you just up and get with them. The philosopher Sophocles once said, “Quick decisions are unsafe decisions.” When put in the right context, I’d say he’s right. So, make safe decisions, and be more patient.
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