Damn, He Got A Point: Do Overs

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Kahlil Haywood

I allude to quotes from stand up comics, a lot of times when I write, because I happen to think that we laugh at jokes most of the time because we relate to them. When a joke isn’t funny, it’s usually because you can’t relate to it. Chris Rock has a very simple joke where he says, “People [are] always talking about ‘life is short’…they’re lying! Life is long.” You might be wondering, “what does this have to do with anything?” If we are fortunate enough to be healthy and to stay out of harm’s way, then, yes, life is very long. And a long life breathes opportunity for a whole lot of potential.

This potential always includes new relationships, new memories, happiness, sadness, and heartbreak. Being that life can be long, there’s always the potential for rekindling old flames, right? Well, if nothing else, it is a thought. Some people don’t believe in doing so. Some would argue that, “the past is the past for a reason.” In theory, that might be right, but I also think that that statement negates the potential for growth and maturity. What I mean is that, with time, things can, and sometimes do, change.

I wouldn’t suggest that you rekindle a toxic relationship, such as one involving verbal, physical, or emotional abuse, for example. That just doesn’t make any sense. But, we have to at least keep our minds open to the possibility that, maybe, things could be different a second time around. We’re all human and simply aren’t perfect. “Everyone deserves second chances because most do not get things right the first time. The issue comes in when one expects third and fourth chances. This is like asking others to co-sign your continuous faults,” says freshman Shira Smith. In any situation, we can always try to better ourselves. In the case of breakups, we can still try to improve ourselves, whether we were the cause of the breakup or not.

“Well,I do believe in giving second chances; we all make mistakes,” said sophomore Michelle Fraser. I just don’t believe we should always be ‘one and done,’ nor do I believe that you give everyone you’ve been with another chance. But, there are certain people in our love lives, whom I like to call “prominent figures.” They are the significant others who have had a profound effect on your life. If things didn’t really go as planned the first time around, then take that for what it was. But, time does a lot in terms of healing, and if you see growth in yourself and growth in the other person, why not take another crack at things?

The only way any of this can be made possible is if the prior relationship ended amicably. I am a big supporter of not burning bridges and of maintaining friendships. Your friendship is a foundation of everything, and in the event that you loved someone, you can always fall back on that foundation. Freshman Jazsmine McDonald says, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!” If it’s a true friendship, then respect and appreciation will always exist, and in that aspect, love can’t really become nonexistent. Many times, space is good, and in this long life, you’re bound to have several encounters with some of your prominent figures. Make wise choices in who you decide to give another chance to, but don’t be against giving that second chance because you really never know.

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