Facing breakups and moving on in relationships
By Kahlil Haywood
Life is ever changing. With that, sometimes we, as individuals, change as well. Most relationships, especially at this stage in our lives, have the same pattern: Things are rosy in the beginning, and along the way, you may encounter problems. Problems are a good thing, as far I’m concerned as long as there is a willingness to be humble and open to new possibilities. Many breakups take place if the same problems persist or if someone isn’t comfortable enough to admit that maybe he or she was in the wrong.
Regardless of the outcome, I think we all should aim to remain amicable and cordial to one another in the event that a separation takes place. This holds even truer if you happened to love someone; the last thing you’d want to do is be at complete odds with him or her. And, what if your counterpart sees things differently? You are now at that proverbial “vulnerable state.” What happens when you reach the realization that the sincere feelings or the genuine care you have for someone goes unnoticed? You see that you are continuing to invest emotions into someone who really couldn’t care less. This is very common when you encounter people who are stubborn.
I spoke to some people who had experienced this issue. Jasmine Williams, a sophomore criminal justice major said, “Once I realized I was the only person who really wanted to make things work, I decided I needed to no longer invest all of those emotions.” A visiting former C.W. Post student, who asked to remain anonymous, also felt that she’d experienced, firsthand, what it’s like to be unappreciated. “My ex ignored all the good things I did for him and constantly focused on the negative,” she admitted, before proudly stating that she had moved onto bigger and better things. As you can see, there can be a variety of circumstances in which you could feel that “enough is enough,” and that realization can be a harsh one.
There comes a time when you have to let go, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Trying to convince yourself that “you don’t care” is useless. Chances are that if you’re saying that, you probably still do. You have to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions, even the undesirable ones. This process can be a painful one. Usually, there’s a disparity in how you both are feeling about each other. If you are the one feeling hurt by the whole ordeal, you’re probably the one who really wants the best for the other person. It’s confusing, and it’s emotional, but that’s the nature of this beast we call relationships. Understand that your heart is in the right place, and hope that in time, your former partner sees that.
A time comes when you can no longer be a victim of having your feelings hurt. Think of it this way: You don’t keep putting money into a car that continues to have the same problem. Sometimes, if loving someone is wrong, YOU need to do what’s right… what’s right for you. If you keep your intentions pure, the good will always come back to you.