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Relationship Column: Boyfriend or Boy Friend?

Alex Parker

How do you explain to the guy you’re seeing that your best friend is another guy? Or if you’re a guy and your best friend is a girl, whatever your situation may be.  I just can’t see that as something that is going to go over well.  Speaking from my own standpoint, I would definitely find it sketchy if my guy was spending just as much time or more with another girl.

Trust isn’t something you just acquire automatically; it’s something that is earned.  I’m not the type to trust easily at all. So, how am I to expect some guy to trust that there isn’t anything going on between my best friend and me when I would be freaking out too? Even though the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach because this guy is like my brother and that would just be wrong.

I don’t suppose I will find the answer anytime soon. Obviously, the two would need to be introduced and get to know each other a little bit. On one hand, my best friend is skeptical of this new guy because he’s always looking out for me and what’s in my best interest. On the other, this new guy is probably thinking, “Ok, who’s this guy always hanging out with her?”  It’s an awkward limbo to find yourself in.

Say the wrong thing to either of them and you’re going to be up the creek without a paddle.  Say nothing at all and you could find yourself losing one or both of them. Either way it is an increasingly sticky situation that must be handled delicately.

First, you need to be sure that this is the guy for you and that it’s even worth the trouble to explain this to him.  If you don’t see the dating going any farther than that, save yourself the trouble and keep quiet. However, if you see a relationship coming on, continue this conversation with caution. People can become quite touchy and territorial very quickly. The last thing you want is a competition of egos or a “my stick is bigger than yours” match.

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