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RELATIONSHIP COLUMN Social Media Satire

Alex Parker
Editor-in-Chief

Social media has its useful purposes. I’ve spoken before about people who become obsessed stalkers over their boyfriends/girlfriends Facebook or Twitter. Now I’m going to talk about the people who docu­ment their entire relationship via status updates. In my opinion, these people need to get it together because no one cares. Sorry if that’s a little harsh but, it’s the truth.

I have found that it is usually girls who commit this heinous crime to humanity. They post update after update, status after status about a fight they had with their boyfriend. They rant and rave about what a jerk he is and how he continually does stupid things that make them angry or upset. It usually ends with something like, “I just don’t know what to do.”

Guess what girl, we don’t either. I personally have a very busy life/schedule and do not have the time or the interest to read about your ongoing relationship crises. What baffles my mind though, is that these girls actually think people care. Maybe they don’t think people care, perhaps they are just looking for an outlet. That’s still not much of an excuse; these are highly personal occurrences. These are things you should talk about with your closest friends in private, or better yet talk to your actual boyfriend about them.

But, please, for my sanity, stop blowing up my news feed and time­line with this crap. It’s incredibly annoying and makes you look like you’re just looking for attention. It’s stupid and unnecessary.

Post’s like, “My boyfriend sucks…my life sucks…FML,” are the worst. Your life doesn’t suck; you suck for putting everyone you know through the agony of having to see this nonsense on a regular basis. If the situation were really that bad, you wouldn’t keep changing your status from“in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” to “single” and then right back to “in a relationship”. You would just break up with the idiot and get yourself together. Save the drama for you mama and leave ev­eryone else alone.

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