I was on my weekly spot on 808’s and Fastbreaks last Wednesday with LIU Post grads Matt Soldano and Max Caster and we were talking about MTV’s new show Catfish when a very difficult question was posed to me. Is it worse for your significant other to cheat on you physically or to be involved with someone else emotionally and telling the other person that they love them? At first, I didn’t know how to answer. If you really think about neither option is exactly appealing.
Personally, I think it would be easier for me to get over the physical act, like if it were a one-night stand. For my boyfriend to tell another girl that he loves her though? I don’t think that is something I could ever get over, not that I would have an easy time getting over the sex either. Being emotionally involved, to be in love and committed to another person is very difficult in the first place, at least in my opinion. It’s rare and hard to find. Sex doesn’t have to involve emotions, under certain circumstances it just happens. Of course the two people are going to be attracted to one another but that’s very different for having feelings for someone.
When I asked three of my girl friends the same question, they all agreed with me. They would have any easier time getting over the physical act as opposed to emotional commitment. One said that some people have sex for different reasons; they just want the physical sensation, for the ego boost of being able to feel like they can get any girl they want. There does not have to be emotions involved.
However, when I turned the tables and asked Max and Matt they disagreed, they both thought the physical act would be more unforgiveable. They couldn’t fathom getting over the physical act. The guys thought that the physical cheating would be more intimate then just some harmless flirting. I agreed with them there, a little flirting is no big deal. It would be the love thing I wouldn’t be able to wrap my head around.
Either way, one option is not exactly better then the other. It ultimately comes down to choosing the lesser of two evils. But really people, don’t do either to your spouse, you wouldn’t want it done to you. To put it bluntly, cheating sucks. More often then not, both people end up hurting, not just the victim.